I thought I was choosing…until I really looked — Field Notes with Rachel Dickson


5/06/26

I’ve been thinking about thinking lately...and also about routines we create and repeat each day to navigate necessary tasks. And then the habits that often seemingly just default out of the routine.

I’ve wondered just how long...how many months and years will we continue the same repeatable patterns? How long or even what does it take for us to awaken from our habitual slumber?

Without question one of the answers is major life-changes like job changes, divorce or loss of our pets.

But I think that we don’t have to be run by our lives. Do we?
Of course there are daily tasks that are required like bathing, meal-prep, cleaning up after ourselves, and on and on.

Maybe what I’ve stumbled into is this idea of a “personal behavioral patterns audit.”

Where we pull ourselves back into awareness...and ask ourselves…
“Is this still good for me?” or “Does this habit bring about the best result for me?”

We can do the same exact thing over and over and over and possibly destroy ourselves in the process because we’ve allowed ourselves to drop into unconscious choice or essentially auto-piloting.

We cease to really make any real decision about our behavior or actions because we’ve done this thing so many times before...that well...we just keep doing it.

Almost like we get caught in a loop...basically decisionless...because we’ve already decided to do the behavior before the moment even arrives.

Like going to the movie theatre for example.

The only time we consume an entire bucket of buttery popcorn is each and every time we go to the theatre. Unless...we actually choose not to buy the bucket this time. Where the choice is actually based upon supporting our body’s health...versus mindless consumption while watching an action film.

You know what I’m talking about...the triggering moments that cause us to proceed with a specific behavior. Do this thing...and this will be the resulting behavior.

You get in the car...drive from point A to point B and light up a cigarette.

These are examples of when a scenario playing out before us...leads to very specific behaviors. Which...ultimately are habitual responses.

It’s ironic that this whole thought-topic stemmed from realizing that many of my routines have completely changed recently due to the passing of Reeses Pieces and Will Willis.

(You can find more details about these incredible furry companions of mine here: https://racheldicksonoutdoors.blogspot.com/2026/03/long-live-littles-remembering-reeses.html)

Literally overnight...daily tasks that I repeated over and over for 15 years vanished into thin air. The need to do these tasks abruptly ended. And I found myself a little stunned as to my realization that I was no longer required to do the daily dog things.

And then I found myself standing in the middle of the awareness of this...and that now I could choose nearly anything to do in its place. What a fascinating thought!

We all have 24 hours in a day...and what we truly choose to fill our days with is completely up to us.

So yes, I’m discovering the deeper truths found within asking better questions, making choices that more effectively create different results, monitoring my thoughts knowing that what I think about I invite more of into my life and that awareness is king.

I’ve been working with a practice called, “notice what you’re noticing” and let me just say...this practice shines some really bright light on thinking patterns...and default behaviors.

It calls into question, “Why am I doing this right now?”

Habit? Routine? Autopilot?
Or by conscious choice?

I have a lot more to discover about myself and what has been driving my action or inaction for all these 54 years. What a journey we are on!

I would love to hear any insights you may have about the juxtaposition between habit/routine and conscious choice in your day-to-day experiences.

Namaste.


Wild-Heart Practice of the Week:

Interrupt the Autopilot**

Once a day this week, pause in the middle of a routine moment.

Not a big, dramatic one,
just something you do without thinking.

Pouring your coffee.
Getting in the car.
Reaching for your phone.

And ask yourself:

“Am I choosing this right now?”

That’s it.
Just notice.

And if you do feel the nudge to choose differently...even in the smallest way...follow it.

Skip the popcorn.
Take a different route.
Sit in the quiet for one extra minute.

This one simple practice will remind you
who is actually making the choices.


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I’m honored you’re here on this journey with me.

If this Field Notes stirred something in you, I’d love to hear what you’re noticing in your own life right now...
maybe a habit that’s been quietly running the show…
or a moment where you caught yourself and realized, I don’t actually have to do it this way.

Or maybe you’ve had one of those small, almost invisible moments of awareness…
where something you’ve done a hundred times suddenly feels like a choice again.

If this resonated, hit reply. I’d genuinely love to hear from you.

Namaste,
Rachel

P.S. Thank you for being here.


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🌿 Explore more meditations, writings, and wild-heart practices at RachelDickson.com

🎬 If you haven’t yet, please take a few minutes and watch Rachel’s Tedx Talk → [view the full 18-min talk here]

💌 In case you missed any past Field Notes, you can find the full collection here: → [View them all]



Rachel Dickson

I’m Rachel Dickson: TEDx speaker, storyteller, and truth-teller exploring what it means to return to your truest self. This is a space for healing, authenticity, and the bold inner work of choosing yourself, unapologetically.

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